After the initial shock of an unplanned baby and all the scary bits that came with our problematic pregnancy we began getting excited and planning our unborn childs future from the moment he took his first breath down to what school we’d like him to go to. Oh how the mighty have fallen! We had such high expectations for ourselves before Oscar was born, we had it all planned out, he was going to be a child prodigy for sure, he’d only listen to classical music and eat homemade organic baby food. Yeah right, he listens to whatever crap is on the radio and he eats anything he can get his hands on.
- He’s not going to have a soother! He isn’t going to be one of those kids dependent on having a doody, no way!
- The first few weeks will be tough but blissful, we’ll be so busy playing with our mini me it will be amazing.
- Everything will come natural, it will be instinctual and we will just know what to do when the baby cries
- Babies smell amazing
- We’ll love every minute, it will bring us closer and we’ll be a team. We’re not going to do the whole “it’s your turn”thing, no way.
- I’ll bounce back fast after the baby, I can throw all my maternity clothes out and just wear the clothes I had from before I was pregnant
- No way will I be the type of parent to put the baby in front of the tv/be on social media while they’re awake/not play with them every minute they’re awake
- Baby cuddles are adorable, we won’t want to put him down
- Oh the sweet silent relief of putting that doody in his tiny pursed gob after a week of next to no sleep was amazing
- While super cute, newborn babies do next to nothing.
- It doesn’t all come natural, having a baby doesn’t make you a baby expert nor does anyone know your child like you do.
- Why does his neck smell like roadkill? I literally just cleaned him
- It’s hard to avoid point scoring and saying “I changed the last shitty nappy” or “I got up with him last night”, you’re both exhausted and thrown into this whole new territory of having a tiny human completely reliant on you for everything. Who knew we were so good at competitive tiredness?
- Think again mama! You are now the proud owner of a belly that resembles Krang from the teenage mutant ninja turtles, you have a scar between your cheeks, you feel like you’ve aged 30 years and you have a load of stretch marks as icing on the cake! But if the button closes, even for 10 minutes before bursting off and careening across the room nearly blinding anyone in its path, it fits
- I have to stick on Moana if I want 10 minutes to wash and sterilise bottles, being a parent is the only time you feel so lonely without ever being alone, social media is a godsend
- Baby cuddles are really adorable, getting tiny fistfuls of your hair pulled out is not
We thought we were the only ones making untrue assumptions about being parents, turns out we weren’t alone! We asked a couple of our favourite bloggers what their expectations were when becoming parents, here’s what they said;
“I honestly think I lived in the movies at my idea of family life, my expectations were
- just getting in the car and going out for the day
- having family cuddles in bed in the morning,
- eating hot meals together,
- going out for food.
- Realising that my car is not big enough for all the crap I need to take everywhere.
- Days out needing to planned 8 years in advance.
- Trying to stop William falling off the bed in the morning while he bundles around like a lunatic and so we just give in and come downstairs.
- Me and cat are just lucky if we eat at night.
- Going out for a meal with a child that doesn’t want to sit in his high chair and getting so infuriated we don’t eat the expensive meal we paid for at TGI Fridays cat will remember that experience it was horrific!!!!
“Expectation: you have the same views on parenting in terms of how to reward or to tell off your child.
Reality: explaining to daddy when I get home from the shops, that Just because you’ve accidentally discovered that leaving the baby in the bathroom with the light off upsets him, does not mean you can threaten this as punishment!
Expectation: healthy home cooked meals every night, own blended food and healthy snacks…
Reality: “ohhh 12 for £6 on jars, best stock up” and “his favourite vegetables? Is pom bear a vegetable?….”
Expectation: your baby will smell delicious every night after a bath, and you won’t wanna put them down.
Reality: food gets stuck in neck chub and you wonder what that smell is just as you’re putting them to bed” – Amy from Love In’deaf’initely